“Life ain’t fair and the world is mean.” (Sturgill Simpson)

I saw a commercial recently that made me shake my head in derision. The ad was obviously aimed at the younger generation because it was full of clips of young people doing amazing stunts and recording them on their phones. At the end, the narrator concluded that young people with the right phone could do anything, especially if someone told them they couldn’t do it. Wow, I wonder how the world made it this far before the smart phone was invented?

I started my first business in 1978, long before I bought my first cell phone in 1984. I had to go to work every day and figure stuff out without any WiFi connection or the internet or Google to answer my questions. It was tough and I frequently heard people say that I would never succeed in my quest. I was attempting to perfect a photographic process for reproducing printed circuits so that the design could be accurately reduced to a fraction of design size and both sides of the PC board would line up within .005″. The harder I worked at it, the more people showed up at my door asking me to try their designs and one improvement led to another. Eventually, I was recognized as one of the best in my field by everybody who hired me to do their work. Instead of likes on Facebook, I got paid well and many clients referred me to others. I made a nice living all through the 80’s and then we made the leap to computer generated design in the 90’s, when the internet finally made it’s appearance. The smart phone didn’t arrive until the turn of the century.

Here’s my question to the younger generation, who are so devoted to their phones. What can you do without your phone? Can you find your way from Point A to Point B by reading road signs and a map? Can you cook dinner by yourself? Can you get a date with someone interesting? If not, why not? What’s holding you back from the adventure of life? Millions of people throughout the history of the world achieved amazing things without the benefit of WiFi. Most of them did it by just trying harder than anyone else. Do you know how many times Edison failed in his experiments? He failed way more often than he succeeded. I’m sure his family and friends told him to “Give it a rest, Tom”.

So let’s think about this objectively. Which would you rather have – the light bulb or cat videos? –  electrical power or fashion advice from J Lo? – organ transplants or Apps? – true friends who care about you or likes on Facebook? Go ahead, think about it for a minute, I’m sure this is going to be a quandary. You might even need to Google the meaning of quandary…………………….

OK, time’s up. What’s it going to be for your generation? What are you going to contribute to the world at large and when are you going to start? Here’s my challenge for all of you. Do something that helps someone you don’t even know. I know for a fact that there are thousands of foster kids who need a home. I know for a fact that there are thousands of people in Third World countries who don’t have enough clean drinking water. I know for a fact that malaria still kills more people each year than any other illness. I know for a fact that sitting in a car waiting in line at Starbucks is contributing to global warming. I know for a fact that unless we start caring about the person who lives next door, none of us is going to have a bright future because selfishness is the root of all evil. I dare you to make a difference for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do.

Yes, that’s right, I just made a clearly moral declaration. It’s not a moral dilemma either. It’s an absolute truth. If we don’t figure out a way for everybody, everywhere to live together as one, then each of us is to blame for the horrible fate that awaits us in the not too distant future. The younger generation has more ability and more tools at their fingertips than any other generation in the history of the world. So let’s see what you’ve got. It sounds to me like you just need to be challenged. To help you get started, here’s some good advice from one of your own generation. According to Sturgill Simpson “Life ain’t fair and the world is mean.” Consider yourselves challenged.

©Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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“Forgiving our enemies has the same refreshing effect upon our souls as it does to confess our sins.” (Josh Billings)

Editor’s Note. I wrote this post three years ago but since Easter Sunday is tomorrow I thought I should share it again. Forgiveness is the single most powerful action we can take to make our lives better because it always leads to redemption. I sincerely hope everyone who reads this will take it to heart. Happy Easter!

Here in Kansas, spring is the season we burn the tallgrass prairie so it can renew its root system and return to its natural state. Big Bluestem is the native prairie grass that covers most of the Flint Hills and can grow as tall as a man. Burning it off in the spring helps destroy the weeds that compete with the grass for the limited rainfall that comes later. A month from now the Flint Hills will look like God’s own golf course with emerald green hills as far as the eye can see.

A hundred years ago this all happened naturally, with lightning as the firestarter. The Plains Indians used the fires as a guide to follow the migratory herds of bison. The herds ran from the fires but they knew to return shortly thereafter to feast on the new grasslands. The Indians depended on the bison, the bison depended on the grass, the grass depended on the fires and life on the prairie kept to its cycle. There was a wonderfully simple balance at work in those days and it all started with renewal.

I think our existence today would be infinitely better if we managed our lives and relationships in a similarly simple pattern. To me, the spring burning season is a great metaphor for the act of forgiveness. By setting fire to the old, weedy parts of our existence we give our relationships a better chance to grow strong again. Forgiveness is the action we take to let go of hard feelings, envy, doubt and enmity toward others. All those negative thoughts are just excess baggage that weighs us down and keeps us from the real joy that is found in friendship and loving relationships.

Recently, I drove through the Flint Hills and I was treated to an incredible panorama of color and activity. As I drove north, there were fires sweeping down the hillsides to the east and to the west there was a majestic burnt orange sunset that took forever to reach twilight. It was then I realized the power of forgiveness and the symmetry of nature that is present in all of our lives every day. When the sun sets, that is the perfect time to forgive that day’s worth of grief. Don’t let it build up even one night. The sooner we let go of our negative perceptions, and frankly most of our problems are self-imposed, then we can grow as emotionally healthy individuals. Wasting time with selfishness and arrogance just makes it inevitable that some day we will have to take the more drastic step of burning down our prejudices and setting fire to our negativity in order to grow again.

When I see those gorgeous green hills, just weeks after the burning season, I am reminded how well renewal works in nature, and moreover how much we need it too. Forgiveness is the greatest tool we possess for making our lives the best they can be and by humbling ourselves every day at sunset I believe we will all see a bright and beautiful future. So, each time you look to the west, just let your heartache go with the last rays of sunlight. It works for me and that’s one secret I will gladly share with anyone.

©Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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“Not a day passes over the earth but men and women of no note do great deeds, speak great words and suffer noble sorrows.” (Charles Reade)

The older I get the more I realize that I have very few days left to do great deeds and speak great words. The suffering noble sorrows part is overflowing with opportunity, given my work with foster children. Every day with every new child is another chance to make a difference and leave the world better than I found it.

Recently, I have been keenly challenged by a little three year-old boy. He is obstinate all day long and way behind in his development. His parents failed him miserably and now it’s my turn to be the male role model he never had. I’m hard on him. I expect a lot more than he’s used to and he gets mad pretty much every time we’re together but do you know what else happens, he runs to greet me every time I pick him up at daycare. He’s happy to see me even though he knows we’re going to butt heads. I might be the first man in his young life who ever gave him high expectations and always came back again to push him up the ladder even higher.

Fixing broken children is a slow and deliberate process made even more difficult by the world at large. It’s also lonely work because foster children are often forgotten in their struggle. They suffer their undeserved noble sorrows in isolation with guys like me who show up once a week and take them by the hand for a few short hours. When this little one runs to meet me, I smile and ask him how his day went because he always has his report card with him and it’s usually not great. Then I tell him what my expectations are and they are always beyond his ability. I will never settle for less with him and he just keeps coming back for more. I’m going to put him back together even if it takes my last breath. I owe him my greatest deeds yet.

Here’s my takeaway from this short story. Whatever you do in life, do it with all the ability you have and with your whole heart. Set high expectations for yourself and those around you. A meaningful, purpose-filled and wonderful life isn’t going to happen by chance. Great deeds are required and noble sorrows are inevitable. We don’t get one without the other and every great moment of our existence happens with other people. A self-centered life will never be a great life because life is meant to be shared with as many people as possible. That doesn’t happen if we never leave the house or put down our phones.

The more I work with children the more I realize that we will never raise them up if we just keep lowering the bar of achievement. I’m tough on these kids and most of them appreciate it. The older ones, who have already been sucked into the mindless vacuum of the internet, are nearly impossible to motivate and they are headed for sorrows that are much less than noble. I feel sorry for them but arguing with them is a waste of time. I have to focus on the ones I can change. Right now my focus is on one little boy who still wears diapers and speaks almost no words. His sisters talk to him like a baby and they hear it from me when they enable his behavior. I expect him to speak plainly and behave willingly. I’m not doing him any good if I let him slide back to infantile actions.

That’s my greater point to all the adults who are reading this post. WE are not doing our job if we let the younger generation slide back into selfishness, conceit, distraction and no real sense of achievement. WE need to raise the bar higher every day and then be there for them to coach and encourage them to do whatever it takes to make that leap. I don’t really care if my work is ever noted in history but I do care that I tried to make a difference and I gave it my best effort. If anyone out there considers the words I have written here to be great then I have God to thank for giving me that opportunity. All of my noble sorrows have led me to great deeds and for that I feel truly blessed.

©Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

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“The truth never arrives neatly wrapped.” (Thomas Powers)

What is truth? The dictionary gives this definition, “a verified or indisputable fact”. The dictionary also gives this one, “conformity with reality.” But what if we went back in time and talked to some of the great minds of the ancient past like Euclid, Pythagoras and Archimedes. What if we asked them this simple question, “Is the world round?” How do you think they would respond? Their truth would have been that the world was flat because that explanation would best conform with reality. The truth that the world is actually round hasn’t been the truth for very long at all in terms of the entirety of human history. The idea that Earth was the center of the universe was the only acceptable truth for most of that time as well. 

Now we have a completely different truth. The world is round and we live in a distant corner of the universe, which is infinite. None of us is able to explain infinity in a way that makes it an indisputable fact but it sounds good in theory. It also raises more questions than it answers which is always the problem with truth, what we know for sure is minuscule compared to what we don’t know at all. But humans are full of hubris when it comes to knowledge and our acceptable truth becomes all-consuming in our rush to judgement. And ultimately, judgement is the end game for most people. Our truth enables us to judge the untruths of others. The pope wasn’t very happy when Galileo pointed out that Earth wasn’t the center of the universe. It was 1992 before the Catholic Church apologized for the way he was treated.

My thesis for this blog is simply to point out that whatever truth we believe in now may yet be proven to be totally foolish in the future and subjective truth is the most susceptible of all. When we take the tiniest amount of truth and expand it into an ideology, we risk everything and humans do this all the time. The political correctness nonsense that permeates society currently is the perfect example of subjective truth. Imposing their perception of truth on people who do not share their views is no different than what happened during the inquisition. Now, no one is being physically tortured in the dungeon but a whole lot of people are being convicted of being racists, homophobes and misogynists in the court of public opinion known as the internet. The only difference this time is that the accusers do their injustice anonymously, which is to say with absolute cowardice and without due process.

Aldous Huxley once said, “Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.” The fact is humans are the most complex creatures on the planet and generalizations are completely useless when it comes to explaining human behavior. For every prejudicial claim I have ever heard about race, faith, gender or political belief I can give a dozen examples of why it makes no sense. Are there people who have these horrible proclivities? Absolutely, but they are just a tiny fraction of the entire population and not nearly the threat they are believed to be. Generalizations are completely fabricated falsehoods intended to spread the ideology not increase our self-awareness or even affect change. All the academics who believe their way is the only way to live are always going to be proven wrong by human nature. Humans have too many variables to ever be quantified in a lab. That’s a good thing because freedom of thought is what leads to more truth and the evolution of the species as a whole. If we stop thinking for ourselves and succumb to the group thinking pattern that political correctness espouses, we are in serious trouble. I would rather be dead than living in a world where everyone has the same opinion and no one is willing to speak freely.

Even when we achieve more scientific truth there will always be philosophical truth that needs to be learned and disseminated as well. Philosophical truth is the truth of our existence and it is almost impossible to quantify or qualify in terms of a formula that accurately predicts future behavior. It would be a fool’s errand to think human behavior will ever be completely predictable but that doesn’t mean we stop trying to educate ourselves and bring meaning to our lives. The purpose of our being should be to grow our humanity, compassion, understanding and courage as individuals that care about all of mankind and are willing to do whatever it takes to make life on Earth better for all of us. The formula for successful human evolution was given to us by Jesus when He gave His sermon on the mound. No one since has ever been able to improve upon His deeply philosophical truth.

Truth is never going to be whatever we want it to be. Far from it…it’s uncomfortable, unnerving and uniquely applied to each of us because we all have free will. Freedom to choose, freedom to think for ourselves, freedom to act on our own best interests and the freedom to express our opinions are the essence of truthful humanity, not ideology. Every time we give in to ideology, we give up our humanity and the world gets a little darker for all of us. I will never let that happen. You can love me or you can hate me but you will never stop me from doing what Jesus asked of me…“Love thy neighbor as thyself.”

©Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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“Give all you can.” (Cody Jinks)

I sat around all day waiting for the inevitable phone call. I don’t really get days off because there’s always another kid somewhere who needs help. Yesterday it was four siblings who just became orphans but their relocation got held up in court so I missed out on meeting them. Today I was all set to move a five year old after he wore out his welcome but that fell through for reasons I will never know. As the evening began, I was beginning to think I might be able to avoid the inevitable but that’s why they call it that. My good friend John called me and gave me the news, another five year old boy was going to the psychiatric unit after doing something pretty terrible to a sibling. I don’t usually get many specifics and I’m okay with that but I do like to hear about the potential for bad behavior in the car and this kid likes to unbuckle himself and stand up while the car is moving. I managed to keep him busy by talking about dogs and giving him snacks to munch on for the hour we drove together. He did great until we turned into the parking lot of the hospital. Apparently, he had been there before and the memories weren’t good because he pleaded with me, “Take me anywhere but here, please anywhere but here!” We sat in the car and waited for the staff to come outside while I endured the most emotional pleading I have ever heard. Probably the longest ten minutes of my life. The hospital workers were great as always and they carried him in and out of my life. Well, at least physically, but I will never forget his cries and the reality that I delivered him back to a painful place.

I know I’m not to blame for this kid’s trauma but it sure feels like I didn’t do enough. When I hit bottom like that I usually turn to music to help me deal with the darkness of what I do. Sometimes it helps me feel better but tonight it just reminded me that God works in mysterious ways and I don’t always get to know the plan ahead of time. So tonight Cody Jinks explained it to me with this verse…When you give all you can, give some more … Till you spend all your time Till you spend your last dime … Tell me brother, what are you living for? What are you living for?

If you haven’t heard of Cody Jinks you should get to know him. He writes wonderful lyrics and songs like I Cast No Stones and I’m Not the Devil are amazing performances. They may seem a little dark but that’s just because they’re incredibly honest and bittersweet. Kind of like my life right now. What I do is about as brutally honest as it gets and I have to make myself find the good in what I do just to make it seem bittersweet. As I listened to him sing.. But I like to stop… at the end of the day…and I pray that I hurt nobody… and somebody new found their way, it began to sink in that helping people isn’t easy and sometimes all I can do is help them find their own way. At that point I really wanted to go back and tell my young friend that.. I’ll spend forever… do all that I can… to prove I’m not the Devil… you think that I am. Unfortunately, I only get one chance with most of these kids. I have to live with my regrets when it comes to the things I didn’t do or say.

Someone once said, “It’s always darkest before the dawn,” and now I know what they were talking about. We all have to reach a point in our lives where the truth of our existence is undeniable and often uncomfortable before we can begin to grow spiritually. I get to see the most unfiltered version of the truth every day, with every new kid I meet and I have to get better at reaching out to them in ways they can understand, even at five years old. If I’m lucky, I may even be with them at their darkest moment but if I hold on to them long enough we may get to see the sun rise together. I look forward to those moments.

Maybe I should write that song….

©Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

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“If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves, it is because self-knowledge is painful and we prefer the pleasures of illusion.” (Aldous Huxley)

As I walk among humanity each day, I am struck by the vast number of people I meet who have little self-knowledge and this is particularly rampant in the millennial generation. My own theory for why this happened starts with the self-esteem movement of the eighties and nineties that the public schools established. I think the goal was worthwhile but the methodology was flawed from the outset. It was just an illusion that everyone saw through but no one dared to challenge. I didn’t raise my kids that way and they turned out to be perfectly functional adults but a lot of other kids grew up in a surreal world of high praise for little achievement, congratulations for making it to school and whatever grade they wanted just to make them happy.

I was raised differently and I believe it was better. I failed a lot and I dealt with the consequences of my bad choices. I still had a wonderful childhood that I wouldn’t change for anything. I won a lot too. In grade school I owned Field Day. If I didn’t come home with five blue ribbons, it was a disappointment and I felt bad. I dealt with my failure by running some more to get better for next year. I tried harder so I wouldn’t have to feel bad again. I guess the other kids didn’t try as hard as I did because I won more than I lost. My competitive nature led to greater achievement and the realization that hard work was required for good things to happen to me.

After college I wanted to come back and work for my dad but he wouldn’t let me. He said I wouldn’t appreciate the family business unless I worked somewhere else first. So he sent me off to New York City to get my sales training. I got a lot more self-knowledge there but it wasn’t much fun. I was made to realize that I wasn’t that smart or good looking or funny or as charming as I thought I was and that happened during the first cab ride from the airport. It was all downhill from there. I got verbally abused for being a rube every day and I had no choice but to stand there and take it. I had a couple of friends but they were going through a lot of the same growing up process too so we just drank beer and tried to forget. It was the worst of times and the best of times because I gained more than I lost.

Self-knowledge is painful at times because none of us is perfect and the selfish illusions we prefer are much more pleasurable. I have no illusions about myself anymore. I know my talents and my weaknesses. Writing is my strength, speaking is my soft spot so I write more than I talk. Hard work and being responsible is required for me to be happy. I am bad at being lazy. Truth is very important to me and dishonesty is my mortal enemy. Faith in God keeps me going and shows me the way to live but I have no right to impose my beliefs on anyone else. It’s not my job to judge others without immediately exposing my own hypocrisy for not being perfect myself. It is my job to help everyone I meet and be transformed by my faith into a better person. My life will always have meaning as long as I am passionate about God’s purpose for my life. I don’t get to take days off from being faithful and I wouldn’t want to, even if I could. I spend each day helping children achieve their own version of self-knowledge and shrinking their illusions slowly but surely. What more could I ask for than to have plenty to do, with unlimited potential to help others and all the God-given ability to do just that. He made me who I am and I do everything I can to show my appreciation for the great life I have been given.

The more we realize about ourselves and the more we are honest about our failings, the better chance we have of being happy. Illusions are the most deceitful form of selfishness and they will only lead us to the darkest corners of our existence. I have yet to meet even one person who comes close to perfection and is fully self-aware. I know of one but He died to fulfill His purpose and give meaning to mine. I thank Him every day and then I go out and try harder to achieve a better life. My life will never be perfect but it will always be the best I can make it.

©Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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“We don’t need, no more trouble.” (Bob Marley)

My hometown of Olathe, Kansas achieved international notoriety this week when a drunken loner killed an Indian immigrant who worked at Garmin in the same department as my son. I’m not going to retell that story. I can’t explain any part of it so I’m not going to try. It just serves to illustrate a bigger point I want to make regarding humanity.

After another long and stressful week on the road, I was elated to have my Saturday off because my long drive got cancelled. I’ve been fighting a virus for the last week so getting one day off to rest was a Godsend. Well, almost. About three o’clock the phone rang and I could see it was from my office. I could have ignored it and pleaded ignorance later but I chose to answer it in spite of my common sense. It was an all too familiar refrain, 14 year old boy runs away from a bad home and ends up in the system. Permanent placement was not available yet so the kid would be moved every two or three days till a long-term residence could be found. He was waiting in the Kansas City office for a ride down to a home close to the Oklahoma border. At this point I pleaded my case for not going because I felt like heck but then my boss told me his name. Obviously, I can’t use it here but he was clearly from a Muslim family so I took the job immediately. If I hadn’t, he would have sat there till midnight waiting for another driver. I took some more cold medicine and headed out for my first experience with a Muslim client.

I never got the whole story because he barely spoke above a whisper and my head was so congested  I just couldn’t hear. We stopped at McDonald’s for his only meal of the day and he seemed to enjoy his shamrock shake but he still didn’t talk. I let him listen to his choice of radio station till the signal died. At that point I plugged in my iPhone and put my iTunes library on shuffle just to see what might pop up. If I ever needed a reminder of how great God really is, this was it. In His infinite wisdom He chose the following play list: Like Jesus Does by Eric Church, Everybody wants to go to Heaven by Kenny Chesney, Judge Not by Bob Marley, Someday at Christmas by Jack Johnson, Spirit in the Sky, Elton John’s cover version of Norman Greenbaum’s song about Jesus, YMCA by The Village People, Shake by Mercy Me and I Will , by Allison Krauss. I never really got a reaction out of my young friend except when he laughed as I tried to do the hand signs during YMCA. I really should download, Jesus take the wheel. Maybe not, that might be pushing my luck a little too far.

We arrived at our destination, which was way out in the country, on a beautiful starlit night. The temporary foster mom was a wonderful lady. We conversed for a few minutes and shared the little information we had between us. She added that she was waiting for two more who were in police protective custody. They arrived with the sheriff just as I was leaving. So to sum up all the peculiarities of this particular drive, we have a Muslim child being transported by a lifelong Protestant to the home of a devout Catholic while God chooses the most spiritual music He could find on my phone. Only in America would this ever happen and thankfully it happened in the Great State of Kansas just days after a great tragedy. I’m sure glad I answered the call.

The moral of the story is simple. We must help each other whenever the need arises. The bitter truth for me is that the loner who killed the immigrant lived in my neighborhood and I may have crossed his path more than once in the 30+ years I have lived here. It makes me wonder if I said hello or even smiled at him? Maybe if I had and a few more had too he wouldn’t have succumbed to the temptation of alcohol to relieve his loneliness and pain. Shame on me if I didn’t. Smiling and polite acknowledgement of another human being’s existence is about as easy as it gets. We ALL see these people every day – the loner who walks funny, or talks funny, or acts funny and we just pass them by staring at our phones or acting like we’re in a hurry. And then, when we read about their tragic life in the paper we feel shocked that anyone in our neighborhood could ever be that bad. If we search our hearts honestly, the reality becomes all too clear. We could have done more.

I’m lucky because I get paid to help children every day. For 50 hours a week I get to make a huge difference for foster kids. All I have to do is answer the call. That still leaves me with 62 hours a week that I’m not sleeping when I could be smiling at loners and talking to strangers and showing respect for others. I wonder why that never occurred to me before now ? Why is it that tragedies like this have to happen before it hits home? I’ve been alive for 63 years now and every day that I keep breathing is another opportunity to make a difference for somebody else. As I pulled into my driveway last night around midnight, Bob Marley was singing, “We don’t need no more trouble, what we need is love…” Do you think God was trying to tell me something?

©Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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