“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” (Rhett Butler)


I love this line from Gone with the Wind. There have been hundreds of times in my life when I wish I would have said this.  I didn’t, of course, but boy do I wish I had.  I think some times you just have to stop all the conversational nonsense  and make a completely clear point. It doesn’t get much clearer than this. I think that’s why men and women struggle with communication.  Women like to keep the conversation going as long as possible so that every imaginable emotion can be trotted out, examined and experienced for all it’s worth.  Men just want to know when this is going to be over so they can go get a beer or watch the game.

The great part of this line is that Rhett Butler said it and women love that character. Rhett Butler is the ultimate movie bad boy and women everywhere still love him.  Why is that? This guy invented the word ” rogue” and no offense to Sarah Palin but she couldn’t go rogue if she paid for a sex change. Rogues are guys through and through and it’s not something you call yourself, it’s something you’re born with and cultivate over a lifetime.  Rogues are the guys who stand up and say whatever they feel without regard for how others are going to take it. Brutally honest truth is not something most people can handle but rogues get away with it every day.

The other line from Gone with the Wind that I love is when Rhett is telling Scarlett what he thinks of her and he says, “What you need is to be kissed and often and by somebody who knows how.” How many guys can get away with those words? Of course most women would react with something like, ” I wish I had somebody who knew how to kiss.” If we were all smarter we’d stop talking and start kissing. OK, that’s just my opinion but what the heck do we have to lose.  I understand that sharing our feelings with each other is important and guys need to do a much better job of listening but we need an ending not a sequel.  Just think about the last scene in Gone with the Wind,  Rhett leaves and Scarlett says “I’ll think about this tomorrow.” That’s not resolution, that’s procrastination and that’s why he left.

Ladies, we men are not very complicated creatures.  We love women because God made you irresistible to us. In that respect you have a huge advantage over us and you always will. Women with soft skin, long hair,  great curves,  gorgeous nails,  beautiful eyes and moist lips  are like the male version of chum for sharks. All of our senses are tuned to pick up the slightest hint of female anatomy and we will gladly drive up a tree if we see you out walking. I wish I could tell you we have a deep emotional need to be spiritually connected to our significant others but the truth is we’re pretty shallow, I’m thinking low tide in Nova Scotia.

Someone once said, “Love teaches asses to dance.” This is the best explanation I can give for how our minds work. We only dance because you want us to and we get to be that much closer to you while you’re not talking. We are biologically hard-wired to require a reasonable amount of physical contact in order to survive. Guys that risk their lives like firemen, policemen and soldiers aren’t natural risk takers, they’re just trying to improve their odds of attracting beautiful women.  It doesn’t hurt that they get to be around guns and fires and explosions but deep down it’s about females. If you put the most average looking guy in a uniform his chance of getting lucky goes up astronomically. If he has to run into a burning house to save Fluffy or some furniture that just comes with the uniform.

Look, we really do want the women in our lives to be happy. No guy looks forward to being around an unhappy female. We will even listen to you go on and on about your feelings because we still want you,  remember you’re irresistible. At the end of the day, no matter how bad you feel we will still be happy to take you to bed. All you have to do is ask. Who am I kidding? All you have to do is flip your hair or lick your lips. We’re not deep thinkers but that doesn’t mean we’re not deeply in love with you. Most guys don’t want to have lots of women they just want to have one woman a lot. So if you want us to be there for you when it’s bad just make sure you’re there for us when it’s good.

©Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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9 Responses to “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” (Rhett Butler)

  1. Suzanne says:

    We only dance because you want us to and we get to be that much closer to you while you’re not talking. I LOVE THIS LINE!!!!

  2. grhgraph says:

    So is this a keeper or not?

  3. inga says:

    Honesty…why doesn’t that rhyme with anything? It’s not like ebony and ivory. So, what’s all the to-do about honesty?

    Let’s check out the Rhett and Scarlett scene. If Rhett doesn’t give a damn, why is he spending so much of his time hanging out with Scarlett when there are, no doubt, countless other more beautiful, less obstinate women in every location Rhett decides to place himself. Why does he come back to Scarlett time after time? Yeah, maybe he enjoys bantering with such a head strong woman who refuses to give up…even tomorrow!

    If men are really so shallow, who’s to be there for us definitely less than shallow women? Why do we take so long to tell you about a situation? Because we know as soon as we stop talking you’ll be semi-comatose on the couch, snoring, belching and watching yet another rerun of the Super Bowl for the rest of the “quality time” we are supposed to share. Perhaps, we hope that you’ll have the manners to stay in our presence while we’re speaking to you. It may not be so much about our needing to describe every nuance as it is about our needing to be with you…before you go into the drone zone on the couch!

    Why do most women love Rhett Butler? Because he’s strong all the time! I have encountered many men who either are not strong about anything or are strong until faced with confrontation or the need to make a decision. Then they slink off into the shadows. Men, if you are strong, show us! Not in physically violent ways, just be who you are.

    You know, dear, I always loved Gone with the Wind! Don’t you think Scarlett’s get-ups were dripping with wealth? I wonder who did her hair? And, her nails! How outrageous that she had to ruin her beautiful nails while digging for something to eat! You’d think at least one man would have left the battles of war to rescue her on his hot steed that he rode for endless hours without stopping for water or rest…just to be at her side when she wanted and needed him…even though she had more an eye for Ashley, another woman’s husband…but, it was a time of trial and stress for those living in the south! What do you think, Hon? Hon? OMG…you’re snoring, again! 🙂

  4. grhgraph says:

    you need to write a rebuttal to all my blogs, that was great!

  5. Kate says:

    Exceedingly well said

  6. Pingback: 2010 in review « Grhgraph's Blog

  7. Jay says:

    You’ve quite a low opinion of men in general and while that speaks volumes about you, it does a poor job of defining men as a whole.

    I do not suffer through meaningless conversation and self medicate with a beer or sporting event after because it had been so dull and drawn out. I just end the conversation and get on with my life.

    Ladies, men are every bit as complex and nuanced as you are, we are human beings after all with millennia of accomplishments to show for it. Years of tv and movies telling you we’re all drooling, moronic goof balls has tainted your view of us. And the only reason such marketing exists is because women will not laugh AT other women; they’ll laugh with them but not at them. They’ll happily laugh AT men however, that’s just good sense from an advertising perspective.

    We certainly aren’t any more shallow than you; men eyeball your figure while you eyeball our wallets. Neither has a thing to do with love yet let a woman choose between the poor guy that honestly loves her and the rich guy who only wants you around until age catches up to you and we’ll see who is left alone.

    We are not biologically hard wired to require physical contact with a woman to survive. Yeah, it’s nice and all, but no man will spontaneously combust without your tender embrace. And the idea of choosing a dangerous career just so it’ll attract women is a disservice to those in the armed forces, authorities and fire fighters. Oh, and how about the men working the power lines, one of the most dangerous jobs today. Are those guys doing what they do for the groupies?

    If you’ve a man in your life, he doesn’t want you to be unhappy. Only truly awful people want those around them to be unhappy. He’ll listen to your problems because he cares, not because you’re irresistible. Fact is, you aren’t. You’re starting to sag, those hips have spread a little wider than last year and those wrinkles aren’t going anywhere. That’s fine, the exact same thing happens to us. Hardly something to worry about.

    This one is my favorite. “We’re not deep thinkers.” We designed and built this society and everything it takes to keep it going. The house you’re sitting in, designed and built by men. The internet connection you use to read this? Designed and built by men. The electricity powering your computer, lights, and everything in your home? Designed and built by men. I could do this all day.

    Now think about how mad you are for me saying so. Can you deny any of that? Did we not build the roads, the cities, the farms and herds of cattle that allowed us to advance as a culture?

    Note that I said nothing bad about women at all, didn’t even imply a thing. But you got angry because you’re so used to being told you’re right. That men are just taking up space, accomplishing nothing. And that only GOOD men get married so they can devote their lives to your happiness and give up on his own. We’re starting to realize marriage isn’t such a good deal for us, and no amount of public pressure is gonna change that.

    In conclusion, this blog I stumbled across by accident is comically, hilariously wrong. It’s written by a true white knight; a man who thinks it’s his job to prop up and protect every woman because deep down, he thinks you’re weak, simple, and not capable of taking care of yourself. That’s REAL sexism, looking into a woman’s glaring flaws and saying everything’s all right. Do you think he’d do that for a man. Do you think YOU would?

    You aren’t irresistible or hideous. Men aren’t suave gentlemen nor are they vicious brutes. And Rhett Butler wasn’t the first rogue, he’s someone who realized he didn’t have to kneel at a woman’s feet for self validation.

    • grhgraph says:

      Jay,
      Thanks for taking the time to comment. I’ve obviously struck a nerve with you but everybody is entitled to their opinion and your’s is just as valid as mine.
      I would point out however, that there are few, if any, universal truths when it comes to men and women. My post was intended to poke fun at both sexes, nothing more. I published your comment because I believe everybody who makes a legitimate case for the way they feel should be heard. I prefer to look at this subject in a less complicated way but I would never expect anyone to join me in my unique point of view. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

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