“Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no.” (Woody Allen)

I’m going to break the age-old code of male silence for this blog. Frankly, I don’t care if I am shunned by my brethren. I can no longer sit by and watch all the babies being born, without fathers, to teenage girls. Whatever happens because I let the cat out of the bag is only what we all deserve. Girls, you cannot believe anything a guy tells you when you’re dating. The vast majority of adolescent males are incapable of honesty when it comes to sex. They will say anything to get what they want from you and when you give in to their wishes you will be left all alone with that baby. And yes, you can get pregnant on the first time. And no, condoms are not 100% effective. The only absolutely foolproof birth control method is “NO!” You may even have to repeat this emphatically a dozen times or more because guys are hard-wired to ignore this word.

Let me give you girls the Top 10  things guys will say to get you into bed and what they actually mean to the guy.

“I will love you forever.” What they mean is, “I will love you till I get what I want and then you’re on your own.”

“If you really love me you will do this for me.” What they mean is, “Let’s see if she will fall for the guilt trip line.”

“Everybody’s doing it.” What they mean is, “Everybody but me is doing it and I don’t want to be left out.”

“I have a condom, there’s nothing to worry about.” What they mean is, “I sure hope this condom works.”

“I really do want to get married and start a family with you.” What they mean is, “Maybe when I’m 30 and if nobody better comes along before that.”

“You are the most incredibly beautiful girl I have ever seen.” What they mean is, “You are the most incredibly beautiful girl I have seen tonight and the better ones have all gone home.”

“I have a girlfriend but she doesn’t understand me like you do.” What they mean is, “I have a girlfriend who always says NO.”

“I think kids are great.” What they mean is, “As long as they aren’t mine, I’m good to go.”

“I think we are soulmates.” What they mean is, “What a load of crap, I hope I can keep a straight face.”

“I don’t think I can live another minute without you in my arms.” What they mean is, “If you’re not into me right now, I’m going to keep looking.”

Ladies, if you hear any of these lines just remember this response, “Prove it, buy me a house!”

©Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content


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3 Responses to “Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no.” (Woody Allen)

  1. Liz Abrams says:

    You know as a mother of 5 sons, I worry all the time about “boys being boys”. That is not applicable to this household and I will not allow that phrase to be used for any bad behavior here. But I am proud that my only granddaughter was concieved after my son, Benjamin and his wife, Sabrina had been married for 5 years. They dated their jr and sr years in high school and have been together in their plans for their lives, and a child was considered very carefully,thoughtfully and planned extremely well. I think having a mother who had her last baby at age 40, and with 4 sons to watch the 9 months of morning sickness that lasted all day, the swollen ankles, the swing of hormones, and the joy when the baby came only to find out that it was much more work then they thought, was a great lesson in exactly what goes on, and how as a Man you support the mother and the child. My husband made sure that each and everyone of them know that if they father a child, they had better be able to care for that child and the mother and that child will be part of this family and it’s life. So many times I find young men who think this is just a game. We have tried to teach our sons that it is not, and you need to grow up. A great Blogg Guy.

    • grhgraph says:

      Well done Liz, you deserve credit for going the extra mile to teach them family values. I tried to do the same with my son and he has lived up to my expectations. Now if we can just get the rest of the planet on board maybe I won’t see so many fatherless children in my line of work.

  2. Andrea says:

    Yet another funny…and very worthy post. I’ll be sharing this on Facebook!

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