“The man with a new idea is a crank until he succeeds.” (Mark Twain)

It’s a new year and I’ve been thinking a lot about starting another business someday. Having been in the graphic arts business for so many years, it probably won’t be anything that requires high tech. I’ve been there and done that but maybe something less stressful would fulfill my innate desire to be the boss again. Here are a few ideas that have crossed my mind lately. Your feedback is welcome as usual.

Guuber – This is a franchise concept. Basically, I sell the logo to would be Guuber drivers and collect monthly rent. For the franchisee, he sells the services of his pickup truck. He can pick up junk, illegal immigrants, terrorists or anybody else who just wants to jump in the back as he ambles by. The customer has to keep slipping bills to the driver through the back window to get him to stop. This one is very low tech and has huge potential given how many pickup trucks there are on the planet.

Sunburn City – This is another franchise concept. It probably works best in hotter locales. The franchisee rents space near the beach and waits for the inevitable fools who scorch themselves. The store has extra cold A/C and lots of aloe vera ointments for sale as well as lawn chairs covered in wet terry cloth. Attractive clerks would make this a gold mine.

Nutsy – This is an online barter system. Everybody has crap they want to get rid of like leftover dog food when the pooch passes or used clothing. Clients pay a yearly fee to join, something like $9.99, and they get access to a site where anything can be bartered.  The tag line will be, “Are you nuts? No one will ever want that!”

Chronic – This one has Fortune 500 potential. The parent company buys up all the old Sonic Restaurants, which have been deserted, to sell to franchisees. Each location is for drive-thru mental health. For 50 cents a minute the patron gets a live person to sit next to the car and listen to their chronic complaints. Smart owners will add online and telephone options to their outlets. The server/listener would keep $20 per hour while the owner pockets $10 per server.

CramAzon – Given the amount of stuff Amazon sells each day, I think it makes perfect sense to provide a one-stop shop for storage related supplies. Everything from plastic tubs to shelving would be available. This could lead to vertical integration with discounts offered for local storage units.

Quitter – Now that messaging is all the rage there seems to be a need for writing services to those challenged by their brain to finger connections. Quitter would provide assistance in the critical areas of quitting your job or relationship. Skilled writers would craft short verses that convey the correct sentiment for the specific occasion. Leaving a job you hate might read like, “Hey, just thought you should know, someone else thinks I will be a great employee. Sorry, but you had your chance. Bye Bye.” Getting out of a long term relationship as gently as possible might be expressed with more compassion, “The last nine years have been wonderful but my emotional needs have changed. This has nothing to do with you. I just need more space to develop as a well-rounded human. Thanks for the memories.” Writers would be paid 75% of the proceeds and the company could keep 25% for a maintenance fee.

©Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


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2 Responses to “The man with a new idea is a crank until he succeeds.” (Mark Twain)

  1. Dick Kuhn says:

    I don’t know buddy. You may be cranking a long time with these options! Thanks for the laugh.


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