My mom is one of a kind. She was born in 1923 in rural Minnesota. They didn’t have running water or electricity until the thirties but that just made her tougher. When she talks about walking a half mile to school in snow up to her waist, she’s not exaggerating. Growing up in the country builds character because you just have to make do every day. There are no frills. If you want a drink, you have to pump water. If you want to eat, you have to grow something or catch something. If you want to talk to somebody, you have to hike over to wherever they are. The ironic part is. that in spite of her childhood difficulties, she is one of the most positive people I know.
She never complains about the problems she encounters. She just gets up and does whatever it takes to fix them. This summer, she took it upon herself to mix up a bag of Quikcrete and fix the stone steps in front of the cabin at the lake. She didn’t ask for help and she didn’t wait for any volunteers, she just did it. Keep in mind, she is 86 years old. If you’re less than 50 and reading this, you should be amazed. I don’t think she understands the words “can’t be done.”
With my family, it’s just a genetic predisposition to work hard. When you have 62 acres in Minnesota and a large extended family to take care of, you have to do whatever it takes. My grandmother was much the same, only a lot more grumpy. She worked just as hard but when she got mad, you made yourself scarce. When she got really mad, she yelled at us in German, which none of us understood and made it easier to ignore her rant.
Somehow my Mom did not inherit her Mom’s temper, which is lucky for me because I was not an easy child to raise. My list of transgressions is too long to recite here but the highlights include smoking cigarettes when I was 4, running away from school on the first day of 1st grade, having a traffic accident on my bike when I was 11 and vandalizing my 6th grade teacher’s car on April Fool’s Day. Each and every time, she just gave me a big hug and told me she still loved me and then told me what my punishment was going to be. At the time, I had no idea how much heartache I was causing her and how much she worried about me. She just kept holding on to me for dear life and praying I would survive my own stupidity.
I’m sure she still prays for me and for everybody, she’s just that way. God gave her a huge helping of empathy and compassion and she shares those gifts with all who need them. In this day and age, her prayer list must be filled to the brim. She does everything she can to be helpful to others. She listens, she shares, she cooks, she knits, she cleans and she cares and she does it all with a giving heart and without expectation. Mothers are easily one of God’s greatest creations. I can think of nothing more valuable on earth than a mother’s love. If you’re lucky enough to have one of these gems in your life, you are truly blessed and it wouldn’t kill you to pick up the phone and call her right now to tell her that. You can even tell her I said so.
©Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Guy R. Horst and grhgraph.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Unfortunately not all of us have the great “mother” experience you have. While I love my mom and learned a great deal from her, as the 4th of 4 girls I was never her favorite (I too was difficult). She’s barely on the periphery these days — by her own choice she doesn’t engage with me or my kids. I strive to be a much better mother to my own kids…taking the best of my mom, my dad and the other good role models I’ve been fortunate enough to stumble upon along the way. Thanks to them, I’d like to think I am “one of these gems” to my own kids.
I know I’m lucky. I was really talking about all good mothers including yourself. You have raised 2 great kids and you are definitely one of those gems. I’m sorry to hear your Mom is not part of your life these days. At least you learned how to do it better. I know you will always be there for your kids. Now if you’re still mixing concrete when you’re 86 I will be really impressed.
See you tomorrow.
Guy
Guy, I love your Mom. When My Mom left us, I found a book that your Mom had given my My Mom about your family. I didn’t read it, but I was impressed that your family had a book.
Your Mom and my Mom were great friends. They were so much alike. One day when we were younger, maybe I was 6, we were out in the backyard on Rosewood. We all came screaming in because there was a snake in the garden. There she was, a bunch of screaming girls, Martha, Nancy, Me and my brothers Bill and John, and my little sister, Lorie was still a baby. She calmly walked out picked up the snake, threw it over the fence. I never forgot that “courage” that she had, she just said it was a garter snake and to stop screaming.
Hopefully I have been that kind of Mom, and I have a son that could put your stories to shame. Maybe some day I will blog about some of them.
Liz
My mom turned 90 years young this past Feb 1; just in time to attend the funeral for her sister who was 85. Two days later, Mom’s friend for 86 years also passed…Mom saw her the day before she died and asked if she knew she’d be 90 in May. Perhaps she scared her to death…? How many of us can imagine or want to think of outliving 5 out of 9 siblings, a husband, dearest friends and neighbors? I think it takes a lot of courage to live this long and she’s determined to celebrate her 100th in 2020. Yes, Guy, we are blessed to have our moms!
Gwenna,
I thought you would like this post. Being a great Mom from up north yourself I’m sure this struck a chord. I have no doubt you’ll still be fixing stuff when you’re 90. I may have to start an OLE and Gwenna cartoon.
Greetings! Very useful advice within this article! It’s the little changes which will make the largest changes.
Thanks for sharing!